HAPPY UNTIL WE’RE DEAD (duet with old man & old woman)

[Old Man] My wife is growing cellulite / It’s crawling down her legs

[Old Woman] My husband, he’s got hemorrhoids / They’re bubbling out of his ass

[Old Man] Her skin was once as smooth as cream / But now, it’s cottage cheese

[Old Woman] His back is stiff, his mind is weak / He’s farting in his sleep

[Old Man] Her butt looks like the moon / Enormous and dotted with craters

[Old Woman] He’s blind, he’s deaf, he’s crippled / But he still wants to drive

[Together] We’ve had a long and wretched life Full of horrible stress and strife Despair and Agony our only friends We’re so relieved we’re near the end

[Old Man] I wrote my will, I bought my grave

[Old Woman] Let’s spend the money we have saved

[Chorus - Together] Let’s be happy! Let’s be happy now Let’s be happy instead of sad Let’s be happy we’re fed Let’s be happy in bed Let’s be happy until we’re dead!

[Old Man] Civilization is beginning to smell

[Old Woman] We’ll soon escape this living hell

[Old Man] I need a bypass for my heart

[Old Woman] I can’t find a place to park!

[Old Man] We worry about senility, we worry about disease

[Old Woman] We worry about anything we damn well please!

[Old Man] But the future is not our concern

[Old Woman] We’ll be hiding in our coffins…

[Old Man] Eaten by worms!

[Old Man] Let’s be happy in the head

[Old Woman] Let’s be happy in bed

[Both] Let’s be happy until we’re dead!

[Old Woman] Take me to the mortuary

[Old Man] Take me to the cemetery

[Old Woman] Bury us together

[Old Man] Are you happy?

[Old Woman] Yes

[Old Man] I am happy, too

[Old Woman] I am happy with you

[Both] Let’s be happy! Let’s be happy now Let’s be happy instead of sad Let’s be happy we’re fed Let’s be happy in bed Let’s be happy until we’re dead!

Let’s be happy, let’s be happy Let’s be happy Let’s be happy Let’s be happy until we’re dead!